THE RULES OF THE NELSON HASH HOUSE HARRIERS
(For the uninitiated) For Aussie go to- Aussie Hash Rules
For British go to-Pommy Hash Rules
To have an enjoyable run (you will enjoy yourself or else), followed by beer, wine. etc and food
To make those fast buggers run with the slower ones, the trail is not straight.The trail gets lost, loops and goes backwards. The faster runner's waste time finding the trail, the slower ones follow only when they are on the correct trail.To ensure people don't get lost ,runners call "On on" as loudly as the can when they are the trail.
Number one- there are no rules! But these might help:
Tail marked in either arrows or shredded paper, appears every 10 or so meters. Follow either these or the bum in front of you.
A Circle. Trail begins again somewhere within 100m of this mark.
A large 'T'. Trail doesn't go this way. Go back to CHECK and try another direction.
A circle with a cross in it. Trail branched off a way back, and you missed it.
A large 'OP'. A stop for refreshments.
HASH HALT (HH)
Everyone waits for the slower runners to catch up.
Runners should bring their own pannikin (drinking vessel)
NO RACING, moaning, or anything else un-social!
WEEKLY FINES WILL INCLUDE:
DOW (Dick of Week) For particularly bad form/stupidity
TOW(Tit of Week) For making a tit of yourself
FRB(Front Running Bastard Front runner who has litte regard for the slower runners
FWD(Front Walking Bastard) Front walker who has little regard for the slower walkers
GOLLUM AWARD Refer to Gollum
Aussie Hash Rules
1. No poofters.
2. There are no rules in Hashing.
3. See rule 1. No proofters.
4. Never loose altitude.
5. No poofters.
6. There is no rule 6.
7. No poofters.
8. No stealing (see hereunder - definition of stealing): Stealing - the covert removal of another Hashman's property with the intention of depriving said Hashman of such property for an indefinite period of time.
9. No stealing, but borrowing is okay (see hereunder the definition of borrowing): Borrowing - the act of covert temporary removal of another Hashman's property (property in this instance is confined to items of a portable nature and directly related to hashing such as mugs, bugles and run books). Substantial items such as kegs whilst being directly related to hashing should never be borrowed. At all times the property borrowed is held for a relatively short period of time and always returned in good order. Often such property is enhanced by suitable engraving to record for posterity the guile of the borrower. Borrowing is a complex issue and where any doubt exists the Grand Master should be consulted.
10. No poofters.
11. No discrimination. Poms, unemployed, dogs, women, criminals, disabled, nymphomaniacs, Holden supporters, Aussies and even lawyers are all encouraged to run Hash. Alcoholics are particularly welcome. Athletes are tolerated in some Hashes. Athletes, dogs and women whilst permitted to run can never aspire to become Grand Master.
12. No Pooftahs.
13. Rain is not permitted during Hash runs. The Religious Adviser is personally responsible for ensuring that fine conditions prevail during the hash run.
14. Definitely no poofters.
15. No competitiveness.
16. Under no circumstances are poofters permitted to run Hash.
17. No training. Persons caught training will be deemed to have breached rule 15 and will be liable to a charge. A range of activities may be interpreted as training and for guidance the following non-exhaustive list is provided:
a) running other than official Hash runs;
b) cycling (fornication on a push bike is exempt);
c) visiting a gymnasium for any other purpose than perving on the aerobics class;
d) using the stairs while escalators are available; and
e) rooting the wife/girlfriend when so pissed it is a marathon effort.
18. Poofterism will not be f**king tolerated under any conditions.
19. All Hashmen must commit to memory 1, 2 and 3 and be able to recite them at any hour of the day or night regardless of their state of inebriation.
20. Poofters will be shot on sight. No poofters.
21. No fighting at Hash. This rule is absolute and the entire culture of Hash relies on strict adherence to this rule. If a fellow Hashman causes you immense displeasure by stealing your car or impregnating your daughter (wives are exempt) then belt shit out of him at some other place than Hash and on some other day than Sunday which is a day of reverence and tradition.
22. Other rules maybe enacted by the committee as they see fit.
23. Amendments to Rules 1, 3, 5, 7, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18 and 20 are illegal.
Note: Bestiality is not covered in these Rules. Whilst ovine relationships are discouraged in other countries, subject to certain rules it will be tolerated:
a) the f**ker must be a named hasher.
b) the f**kee must be a ewe (no poofters!)
c) the f**kee must be a consenting adult
d) the f**kee must be reasonably attractive.
As this item is not incorporated in Hash rules, all behaviour covered by the above note is subject to determination by the Grand Master.